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Hilarious Texts From My Cat
1 LIFE IS NOT FAIR
Mittens has been amassing an impressive collection of tickets from dear old Drunk Patty. Unfortunately, this work of art is not widely appreciated as a valuable medium.
2 So What Then???
Poor MItty, all he wants is to contribute to the Antiques Road Show. Unfortunately, he doesn’t have much worth contributing. Better luck next time.
3 What About My Needs
We should keep in mind that our pets have interests and hobbies too. At the very least, we should enable them to take part in activities they’ll find enjoyable. No matter how strange they may seem.
4 Don’t Give Up Mittens!!!
We admire his relentless pursuit of his passion for quality antiques. Keep trying and you might just get what you want.
5 Privacy Rights
Can Mittens catch a break, or what? Poor guy can’t even do his business in peace. WHAT DOES A CAT HAVE TO DO?!?
6 Ok, Take It Down A Notch
Mittens, we get that you’re worried. It’s cute, and we admire it, but settle down lil guy. Let grandma have her fun, ok?
7 Stand Your Ground!
Atta boy Mittens, you tell her what’s up! Something so soft and delicious can’t possibly be worthless, right? RiGHT??
8 Gotta Do What You Gotta Do
Important life lesson: good things cost a lot. Sometimes that cost takes the form of drunk aunts painfully holding you for hours on end.
9 On One (Many) Condition
Hey Mitten, we don’t think it’s weird that your friendship comes with fine print. If Phil doesn’t read it, it’s not your fault. You warned him.
10 Kitty Braces
Mittens brings up a good point, why aren’t cat braces a thing? Seems pretty selfish of us.